Alchemists' Archive
by Chibi Envy Chan
Summary: Series of drabbles featuring characters from Fullmetal Alchemist. No set pairings. Takes place after the movie. Spoilers ahoy. Contains yaoi/yuri. Ed and Al have some interesting room mates. Life will never be the same.
1. Chapter 1

-1**Title: ****Life in Amestris**  
**Author: Chibi Envy Chan**  
**Rating: PG-****13 **  
**Warning: ****None. **

**Pairing: None so far.  
Summary: Ed and Al have returned home. Things will never be the same especially when they're rooming with two others. Who are they? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

Ever since they returned from that world, things have been different. He was glad to have al back in his human body, but at the same time, it felt weird. Ed had been used to Al carrying all the luggage or anything heavy. Now he was doing it. Well, he insisted upon it, not wanting his younger brother to pull a muscle.

Another was the increase in spending. Al needed to eat, sleep, shower, and wear clothes. Before, all he had to do was maintain his armor everyday. At least, Ed cut down on his intake, now that he wasn't eating for two. He didn't sleep as long or take naps either, but that wasn't the point.

It was their current housemate or housemates. While Ed didn't mind one, he refused to let the other stay. The other enjoyed making his life miserable every minute of every day all year long. He was evil incarnate. His name was Envy.

The first one while okay was plain weird. Ed never understood the guy, but he helped with the household chores and did odd jobs to help with the finances. However, he sometimes joined the dark side and teased Ed. One bonus about having him around was that he reminded Ed there were people shorter than him even if it was by a few centimeters. He hated looking up all the time. Seriously, why did they have to short change him on height? Al was taller than him, now that he could grow.

"Ochibi, you're not going to grow taller overnight," a cruel voice taunted.

The state alchemist glared at the homunculus. "I know that!" It took him years to gain any height for him, but he hoped that maybe just maybe they'd take pity on him and let him have a growth spurt.

"Then why be obsessive about your height… oh excuse me, lack of height," Envy cackled, feeling superior in every way.

Glaring at the sin, Ed stormed out. He had no retort and knew the homunculus was right for a change. "What are you two doing?"

"Building a glider. We can fly on it," Al chirped. He had been teaching their new housemate about alchemy in their world while he taught Al about his world.

"I don't know. It doesn't look safe," Ed commented, looking at it skeptically.

"We're going to use a test dummy for the initial flight," Al said, easing his older brother's worries.

"Yeah! Hop on it, Ed!"

"Theo!"


	2. Silver Lining in Every Cloud

Title: Silver Lining in Every Cloud

Author: Chibi Envy Chan

Warnings: swearing, boy love

Pairings: OMC/OMC

Summary: Ed doesn't do social gatherings but he deals with it.

Disclaimer: Chibi doesn't own Fullmetal Alchemist

Border~!

"And what is the purpose of this?"

Rubbing his temples, Roy attempted to figure out how to calm the temperamental alchemist without destroying his office and the assistance of the younger brother. He deduced Alphonse was a saint for dealing with the shrimp made him want to throw someone out the window and not on the first floor either.

"Are you listening to me?"

Roy sighed a long one. "This isn't an order from me. I don't care what you wear or even if you attend." Who in their right mind would plan this formal party in the middle of hunting Scar, the alchemist killer? It baffled him. Orders were orders.

"You can tell him I'm not going!" Ed stomped to the door for a hasty exit when a bullet rushed past him. "What?"

"Fullmetal. The uniform has been cut to your specifications. No one else can use it so please wear it." Hawkeye had yet to holder her favorite weapon.

"And it's an order from the Fuhrer. Top military personnel are to attend, no exceptions," Roy added as he leaned onto his ungloved hands. "Everyone in dress uniforms, and that includes you." Which was why he took the liberty to send for a dress uniform in Ed's size.

Ed glared at his superior and then at the dress uniform. It was for one night. It had better be for one night. He stomped all the way to the offending item, picked it up, and stormed out, slamming the door after him.

"That went well," Maes commented, pushing up his glasses. "What? Your office is still in one piece, and no one was hurt or mentally scarred for life. That's the best scenario."

"If you say so," Roy said and frowned at the large stack of paperwork occupying a large portion of his desk. He wondered how Ed would react if he had his choice in formal wear.

"You know I think he'd look good in a mini-skirt, but I value my life," Maes said in an off handed manner. He plopped down on a nearby chair.

How did he read his mind?

Maes laughed. "I know you better than that." He moved his feet to plop on the desk, but the sight of her gun made him put his feet back on the floor.

"Out of all times, why now?"

"Your paperwork or the ball?" Maes asked, grinning like a madman. "If it's the paperwork, you decided your date—"

"I know. I know," Roy said, keeping his hands moving. While she was a trustworthy subordinate, she also proved to be a formidable slave driver. "And we have to take care of security. Joy."

Scratching sounds filled the office as the dogs of the state finished their paperwork. They were supposed to be military personnel, but it seemed a large portion of their duties involved paperwork and/or reports. When Riza took her seat and holstered her gun, the guys let out their breaths.

No one was becoming target practice…

For now.

Border~!

"Nii-san, what's wrong?" Al asked after Ed slammed open the door. The wooden door fell of its hinges. He picked it up and propped it in the door frame. One transmutation circle later, and the door was repaired, no thanks to Ed.

Fullmetal Alchemist threw down the package, swearing all the while. He then threw himself on his bed. "That bastard! He knows I hate this type of thing."

Al tilted his metal helmet. "What kind of thing?" He eyed the dress uniform on the chair. It was that type of thing. No wonder why Ed was so furious.

"I have research to do and Scar to catch… well maybe not catch, but still!" Ed peered over to the walking armor, not that it was hard to see him.

"It could be worse," Al said, trying to cheer him up. He picked up the formal uniform to give it a good look over.

"How?"

"Knowing Colonel Mustang, he um… could have given you a mini-skirt." Everyone knew about the mini-skirt fetish. It was a horribly kept secret.

Ed exploded with swearing and excessive use of profanity. No way was he going to wear a damn skirt. He sat up and stared at the dress uniform. Now that he looked at it, it wasn't that bad. It had pants.

"I don't like socializing with those old farts," Ed announced. The old farts meaning the people in authority who were older than Colonel Mustang.

"That's not nice," Al chided him. He placed the dress uniform down and smoothed out any wrinkles. He wondered if he could borrow an iron.

Ed shrugged. He didn't care. They made him attend this ball or whatever against his wishes. "They most likely want to parade me around. Youngest state alchemist. Look he can do alchemy without a transmutation circle. Wow."

If he had a face, Al would have frowned at Ed sarcasm. Wait a minute. If the top military officials attended, then there should be some high ranking state alchemists. He hoped Ed would listen to reason.

"Nii-san?" Al approached him.

"What is it, Al?"

"Aren't the top state alchemist going to be in attendance?"

Ed stared at Al. "You're a genius!" He could do his research while following orders and not get into trouble. Maybe he could find a lead to the philosopher's stone.

Since he could bring one guest, Ed decided to bring a guest so he wouldn't suffer alone. Misery loved company.

Border~!

For the hundredth time, Ed pulled on the collar to his dress shirt. Were they trying to choke him to an early grave? How were they able to wear this death trap?

"Need some help?"

Ed whirled around to face someone a little taller than him. Okay, more than a little taller than him. "How can you wear this death trap?" He tugged on the collar.

The other person chuckled. "It's not that hard once you know the trick. Let me help you." He placed down his glass and began correcting the collar.

If he didn't know and wanted help, Ed would have punched the guy for invading his personal space. That felt a lot better when his collar had been readjusted. "Thanks. I guess."

"No problem," the stranger replied and picked up his glass. "Oh, I'm Samuel Mustang, the Theory Alchemist. You can say alchemy runs in the family. My cousin's a state alchemist too." Tucked away in a pocket, his pocket watch shined.

Mustang? "You're related to him?" Ed asked, jabbing his thumb to where Roy flirted with several women.

"Yeah," Samuel said after he took a sip of his drink. "He's a pain to deal with, but he's family. You must be… Fullmetal Alchemist, right?"

How did he know?

"I heard about you. The youngest state alchemist. Heh. I'm not sure if I should be upset or happy. I used to be the youngest."

"Call me Ed," the shorter state alchemist said. If this state alchemist focused on theories, then he had to possess a library of books. If not, then plenty of notes from his research. "So what are you researching or working on?"

Samuel raised a brow. "It's funny you should ask that."

Border~!

Over two hours into the ball and there had yet to be any yelling or explosions. Roy took that as a good sign for now. Who knew if Ed was plotting his downfall or next move to obtain the secrets of the philosopher's stone? It would e easier to locate the shrimp if he wore his trademark red long coat.

"Maes, have you seen Ed? He's been too quiet." Roy asked when the information specialist approached him.

Maes motioned to where he had come from. "He's talking to your cousin. Alchemy stuff." While he was intelligent, alchemy confused him.

Roys eyes widened. No wonder why Ed was so quiet. He had a walking library at his disposal. Sometimes he found his cousin's memory to be irritating and a curse. Samuel had an entire library stored in his head, but he was horrible with fighting.

Not bothering with a thanks, Roy rushed over to where the Fullmetal Alchemist and Theory Alchemist chatted over the latest discoveries.

"Hi cousin," Samuel greeted.

"What do you want?" Ed snapped, irritated to be disturbed.

Roy straightened out his dress uniform. "Is that any way to speak to your superior? Hi, Samuel. I hope he hasn't been bothering you.

Ed scowled and glared.

Samuel blinked. "Oh no, he hasn't. He's been pleasant company. I've enjoyed our discussion."

Say what?

"It's been awhile since I can discuss alchemy without having to explain everything." Samuel appeared to be enjoying his company.

Roy gave him that look. He wondered how much secrets the young alchemist gave away.

"I didn't say," Samuel informed him.

"Say what?" Ed asked, becoming too curious for his own good.

"Tell embarrassing stories," Samuel answered. "We grew up together. And then he moved out."

"… You were holding on me?" Ed accused, pointing his finger at the Theory Alchemist.

"Oh my date is looking for me," Samuel said in a hurry. "Bye!" He retreated before either alchemists could say anything.

Ed gaped at the sight of Samuel latching onto a man. The guy said date. His mind went into overdrive.

"He's an odd one," Roy mentioned. "But are we ever normal?"

"What?"

"Nothing," Roy said a bit too fast for Ed's liking. "Let's go greet your other superiors." Before Ed could protest, Roy dragged him to meet the first of many high ranking officials and dignitaries.

Border~!

"If someone asks me to use alchemy, I'm going to strangle someone," Ed growled as he stood off to the side. He had parked himself next to Al and stayed there. Since the armor didn't move, many thought him to be part of the decoration.

The ball started winding down as many guests departed, usually drunk. More than a handful lingered around in deep conversations. One of them was a state alchemist and his unusual date who was also part of the military.

Samuel waved over to him smiling.

Ed returned the wave without the smile. He thought about resuming their earlier conversation, but some foreign dignitary was chatting with him. This one was fascinated with alchemy and asked for several demonstrations.

Movement caught his attention. It was Roy attempting to woo some random woman. According to her dress, she worked as a civilian there. It worked until her brother arrived. Ed made a note to gloat over this the next time Roy mentioned any of Ed's failures.

Ed checked his pocket watch. He stayed for the required amount of time and then some. It was time to go. "Al, we're leaving."

Al didn't question him but followed. Roy didn't stop either of them.

Border~!

"Colonel Bastard!" Ed stomped into Roy's office, disturbing everyone again. "Where's your cousin?"

Roy didn't bother looking up from his paperwork. It was only Fullmetal. He continued to ignore the pint sized state alchemist.

"Hey, I'm talking to you," Ed shrieked. He slammed his hands on the desk.

"I'm not his babysitter," Roy said as if Ed wasn't throwing a tantrum. "He's old enough to take care of himself. Can't say the same thing about you."

"I'm old enough to become a state alchemist," Ed shouted. He was sorely tempted to transmute Roy's desk into a canon and shoot him from it.

Roy gave him a skeptical look. He knew Ed wouldn't give up until he obtained what he wanted. "He's on the mission you turned down. I doubt you can catch up with him." He stared at the empty space where Fullmetal used to stand.

It was too easy.


End file.
